How Meditation Aids in Grieving our Losses
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Grief is a deep, powerful, ever-changing emotion; it’s like the ocean, and one cannot manage it, bury it, or stay in it forever. You can encounter the ocean, observe it, respect it, learn to swim, or surf its waves. You can predict what it might do - but not always. It will overtake, recede, and knock you to the shoreline. Some days, there is no wind and it’s stunningly beautiful and calm on the surface. Grief is the same. It is a huge and fluid entity.
Grief can consume us in ways we never thought possible. It leaves a mark on our body, hearts, and minds. How can you ease the intense pain of grief? Meditation is an age-old practice that has proven its ability to support the grief process. In this article, we will explore how meditation can be an invaluable companion on your journey toward healing by offering peace, rest, and clarity after loss.
How Mediation Can Help the Grieving Process
Meditation is a powerful tool that can help us to cope with grief and loss. When we meditate, we connect with our innermost thoughts and feelings, which can help us process our emotions and adjust to new realities.
Meditation can also help us to find peace and acceptance in the midst of our grief. It can be difficult to accept that someone or something we love is no longer with us, but meditation can help us to find awareness and deeper understanding.
In addition, meditation can help release buried emotions that hold us back from the natural flow healing. Grief stirs up old hurts and wounds that bind with anger, resentment, shame, or guilt. However, when we meditate, we allow ourselves to become aware, process, and release the energy connected to those memories in order to restore a sense of equilibrium.
Meditation can also help us connect with the memory of loved ones who have died. Although they are no longer physically present, our emotional connection to them is always within reach. We feel their presence when we recall an image, and place, or a good time. This connection can bring us a moment of happiness, connection, or joy. In the midst of grief’s powerful undertow, it’s a great “rest stop” where we can focus on the laughter and joy once shared.
Benefits of Meditation Backed by Science
Meditation has been shown to be an effective way to cope with side effects associated with grief. According to Science Daily, a study published by Massachusetts General Hospital discovered participants who engaged in an average of 27 minutes of meditation per day over an 8 week period had improved empathy, memory, and self- awareness while experiencing less stress and anxiety. When we are self-aware, we’re able to connect with ourselves and our deepest feelings. This can be very important when grieving as it allows us to process our emotions without judgment or criticism. It gives us the opportunity to explore what we are feeling in a quiet and observing environment.
Mindfulness meditation also helps us to focus on the present moment, which can be very helpful when we are grieving. Mengran Xu, a researcher for a mindfulness study at the University of Waterloo stated "We … found that meditation practice appears to help anxious people to shift their attention from their own internal worries to the present-moment external world..." When we are grieving, we often dwell on the past and what could have been done differently, or better. This can lead to profound feelings of regret, guilt, sadness, or depression. However, By focusing on the present moment, we can break away from the past, release the thoughts and feelings that remain, and seek ways to move forward.
Types of Meditation Techniques for Grief Recovery
There are several types of meditation techniques that can be used for grief recovery. Three common techniques include mindfulness meditation, loving-kindness meditation, and movement meditation.
Mindfulness meditation is a type of meditation where you focus on your breath while being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can be a helpful practice for grief recovery as it can help you to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions related to your loss, and allow you to release them more easily.
Loving-kindness meditation is a type of meditation where you focus on sending positive thoughts and feelings towards yourself and others. This can be helpful for grief recovery by developing more self-compassion and kindness towards yourself, which can be beneficial in the healing process.
Movement meditation is a type of meditation where you focus on your body in motion. Whether it is walking slowly or stretching, you pay attention to how your muscles and joints feel. This can assist in the grieving process since emotions are physiological and result in strong somatic responses. By increasing awareness to parts of your body that may usually be ignored, you are able to release stored energy and memories that are bound up with pain and tension.
How to Start a Meditation Practice
If you're like most people, the idea of meditation probably conjures up images of sitting cross-legged on the floor with your eyes closed and chanting "om." But meditation doesn't have to be so esoteric. In reality, it can be a very down-to-earth and practical tool for managing grief.
Here are some tips for getting started with a meditation practice:
1. Set aside some time each day for your practice. Just 10 or 15 minutes will do, but if you have more time, have at it!
2. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. You don't need to assume any special position; just get comfortable.
3. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. As you inhale and exhale, notice the sensation of your breath moving in and out of your body. Count each inhale (1) exhale (2) inhale (3) exhale (4) and repeat until you reach 10.
4. If your mind starts to wander, that's OK! Just gently bring your attention back to your breath and start back at the count of 1. Aim for a count of 10 and keep repeating as long as you wish.
5. When you're finished, sit for a few moments and reflect on the relaxation that comes from taking some time to slow down and focus on self-care.
Alternatives to Meditation
There are many ways to manage the intense early days of grief, and what works for one person may not work for another. If you're not sure about meditation, there are plenty of other options to explore. Here are some alternatives to meditation for grief recovery:
1. Art therapy: Art therapy can be a helpful way to express emotions that are difficult to put into words. Whether you're painting, drawing, sculpting, or doing any other type of art, the process can be therapeutic and help you work through your emotions. Studio Saudade offers creative services from Project Farewell to capture memories of your loved ones through memorial and funeral programs, legacy book design, autobiographies, printmaking, and more.
2. Exercise: Exercise is a great way to release endorphins, which can help improve your mood. Taking a brisk walk, going for a run, or participating in a group fitness class can all be helpful in managing the somatic experience that intense grief brings.
3. Talking with a grief coach: A grief coach can provide support, guidance, and compassionate listening as you navigate your grief. They can help you identify and process deeper and more subtle emotions, set goals, and develop coping strategies. Set up a free consultation with one of our coaches to discover which service may work best for you.
4. Journaling: Writing about your thoughts and feelings can be cathartic and help make better sense of what you're going through. Journaling can also be a helpful way to track life changes as you grieve and see how far you've come over time. Grief is often compared to a spiral and it twists and turns, but is always moving in a different direction. Journaling reminds us of the nature of change and impermanence.
5. Support groups: There's power in numbers! Joining a support group with others who are grieving can provide companionship and understanding. Sharing your experiences with others who get it can be incredibly helpful in feeling their grief. Studio Saudade offers a community grief gathering each month for the Seattle area.
Summary
In conclusion, meditation can be an incredibly beneficial tool to assist with grief recovery. By taking the time to practice mindful breathing and centering our thoughts on the present moment, we can gain a sense of inner peace and acceptance that will help us move with and through grief. Additionally, by reflecting upon memories without judgment or attachment, we can begin to foster a newfound sense of hope in ourselves. As you move forward and integrate your grief along the way, it is important to remember that meditation can provide you with both comfort and clarity as you find emotional equilibrium.
